Dead Baby Jokes

Here's a series of dead baby jokes that are bound to refresh your day and make you rethink about having those parasites known as children.

Dead Baby Jokes
Whats funnier than twelve dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to twelve trees!!

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
I take my shoes of before I jump on a trampoline.

Whats the difference between a porche and a pile of dead babies?
I wish I had a porche in my garage!

What is Red pink and silver?
A baby chewing on razors

Whats green black and rusty?
The same baby 2 weeks later.

"why would you put a baby in a blender feet first?
so you could see the look on its face as it gets chopped up"

how many babies does it take to paint a house?
depends on how far the blood splatters as you throw them against it

a baby is born, and the doctor starts throwing the baby against the wall
"why are you doing that?" she asks
"oh, don't worry, its already dead"

what’s the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bricks?
you cant unload the bricks with a pitchfork

what is red, screams and goes around in circles?
a dead baby with its foot nailed to the floor

whats the diff between a dead baby and an onion
you cry when you chop up onions

if a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and there is nobody around to hear it, is it still hilarious?

Q: What's blue, purple, pink, and sits in the corner?
A: A baby with a rubber band around it's neck.

Q: What do the gynaecologist and the pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it!

what do you call a dead baby hanging on your wall?
art

Q: What's black and blue and smokes in the corner?
A: A baby chewing on an extension cord

whats purple, covered in pus and squeels?
a skinned baby covered in salt

what do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
a baby with a black eye!

what do you get a dead baby on its birthdday?
a dead puppy

whats worse than a baby in a trash can lid?
a trashcan lid in a baby

Whats the best thing about dead siamese twin babies?
THREESOME!!

whats small, red and cant turn in a hallway?
a baby with a javelin through its throat

• How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.

How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars

What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.

What's the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
It's really easy to turn on a lamp.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.

What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies.

What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.

What's grosser than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.

What's grosser than that?
He goes back for more.